An apology

I wore a mask while i was with you

I was rude, selfish, in my shell.

I never let you near 'real' me.

I dampened your joyful spirits.

I pretended your inexistance.

I made up stories,miserable.

Never a word about your love

that put smiles even in Hell.

Lonliness was a choice- mine.

And i blamed it on all but me.

I was there,in your midst

just to put you guys off.

An apology here makes no change,

i know but still i say:

'I'm sorry for all that i did

and more for all i didn't'